


Things You Didn't Realize You Had In Common With Your Husband Until After You've Married Him

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Biting, Bruises, Crack, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Katsuki Yuuri is So Done, Love Bites, M/M, Married Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri Are Best Friends, Phichit Chulanont is a Little Shit, Victor Nikiforov Has No Chill, Victor Nikiforov is Extra, Victor Nikiforov is a Little Shit, Yakov Feltsman Is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: "I'm sorry, what's going on here?" Viktor half-laughed, half-snorted from Yuri's other side"Oooooohhhhhhhh Yuri hasn't told you!?"Yuri's eyes turned to the size of saucers, his expression completely stark and terrified as he stared at his freind"Phichit don't you dare-""Told me what?!" Viktor chirped excitedly"Phich-""About that time he bit me for an eggroll,"
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 11
Kudos: 275





	Things You Didn't Realize You Had In Common With Your Husband Until After You've Married Him

**Author's Note:**

> I blame the girls at Mad Alice for this mess xD https://madaliceproductions.tumblr.com/

"You keep staring at my uramaki, do you want it?"

Yuri blinked, unaware that he had been staring, and turning a bit red

"O-Oh um, no that's really ok, sorry Phichit,"

"You don't have to apologize, you can just have it, you know, as long as you don't bite me for it," Phichit winked, gently shoving his plate towards Yuri, who looked like Phichit had just popped his balloon or something

"W-Would you quit bringing that up!?"

"You gave me a _scar_ , I will _NEVER_ stop bringing it up," Phichit laughed enthusiastically, much to Yuri's shame and humiliation as he hid his face in his hands

"I'm sorry, what's going on here?" Viktor half-laughed, half-snorted from Yuri's other side

"Oooooohhhhhhhh Yuri hasn't told you!?"

Yuri's eyes turned to the size of saucers, his expression completely stark and terrified as he stared at his freind

"Phichit don't you dare-"

"Told me what?!" Viktor chirped excitedly

"Phich-"

"About that time he bit me for an eggroll,"

....

And there it was

Out in the open, like a wardrobe malfunction, a big glaring nipple on his otherwise-... well.... he'd hardly call his relationship with Viktor _spotless_ but it would have been alot cleaner if not for this discussion, is the point

"....He _what_?"

"I mean in fairness I really had it coming for trying to take his food but..."

Viktor, who was sitting on Yuri's left, Phichit on his right, at the rotating sushi bar, promptly leaned back so that he could see Phichit's face better wile Yuri suffered between them

"Please oh great Hamster Lord, tell me this story,"

"Ok so it was our second year together, Yuri had just gotten back from a really brutal loss at Skate Canada-"

Distantly, Yuri wondered if Phichit really _had_ to call it "brutal"

He wasn't _wrong_ , Yuri just.... wondered

"-and my poor boy was so tired, anxiety and depression had kept him up all night, he'd gotten off of a seven and a half hour flight from Vancouver, I tried to cheer him up with some Chinese food but he was pretty depressed, still, he was atleast active for the most part, talking and all you know? I didn't know at the time that his mental health was so bad so I just figured he was sad, wich, obviously, had some merit to it, at one point he zoned out and I thought maybe stealing an eggroll would snap him out of it, you know? Teasing and all? Oh it snapped him out of it alright,"

Yuri's head banged loudly against the counter as he tried to save himself from the humiliation of what he knew was coming next

"I reached my chopsticks over and as I was pulling back, he just suddenly bit my arm! He realized it like half a second later and, you know Yuri, launched into the nearly crying apology speech, he even gave me a dogeza bow and everything, ofcourse I wasn't mad, hell I thought it was funny!"

Yuri wondered if he could possibly just sink into the floor and _die_ if he tried hard enough

"Wow!!! And you said you had a scar!?"

Yuri would wonder why Viktor was encouraging him, but really, at this point, he wasn't even surprised

"Yep! Well, I _did_ for a few days anyway, it's gone now, but Yuri bites pretty hard,"

"I'm aware," Viktor chuckled, grinning like the devil

Yuri wanted to throw himself into a vat of hot oil, if only so he wouldn't have to hear this anymore

"OOoh kinky!"

"Are you surprised?"

"Not at all!"

Phichit paused, staring at his utterly devastated best freind and pouting

"Awwwwww Yuri don't look so upset! It's fine, it was funny! You know I'm not mad!" he laughed, wrapping his arms around Yuri in a tight hug

"I'm not even worried about that anymore Phich, this is embarrassing!"

"Oh come on Yuri, it's not that bad! And he's your husband, don't you think sooner or later he was going to find out anyway?"

Yuri lifted his head, a blank look on his face

" _How_? How would he ever have found out if not for you telling him?"

Ah... Phichit actually seemed to lack an answer for that....

"You're married, it's bound to happen," Phichit finally insisted

Yuri didn't believe that

He didn't believe that for even a second

"Awwww Yuri I think it's cute!" Viktor laughed enthusiastically

Yeah, Yuri didn't believe that either

Well, maybe he did, it wasn't the most unbelievable idea that Viktor- who had once said that an allergy-ridden Yuri looked "utterly adorable" with a red swollen face, watering eyes, and so much congestion that he couldn't pronounce half the consonants in the alphabet anymore- would think Yuri biting someone over an eggroll was cute

"Ofcourse you do," he muttered a moment later as Viktor too glomped onto the hug

"Zolotse don't feel bad! I think it's adorable how protective you get over food,"

He said that, but he was snickering the entire time and honestly, Yuri just wanted to crawl under a rock and die

"It wasn't like that..." Yuri grumbled miserably, sinking even further into his chair- if that was possible

Apparently Viktor took pity on him, giving him a chaste kiss on the nose and snuggling up against him a little

"I believe you, you were just tired and depressed, honestly I probably wouldn't have behaved much differently,"

Yuri knew that wasn't true, but he thanked Viktor for the effort anyway

Little did he know that the worst was yet to come....

~+~

"Yuri, can I have the last one?"

Being a professional athlete meant that sometimes- most of the time- any food consumption had to air more on the healthy side rather than the fun side

That was why they were watching the new episode of Batwoman with a bowl of strawberries instead of ice cream

"Mm? Sure, go ahead,"

"Really!? Thank you my darling~"

Yuri was actually sitting there feeling good about himself- just a tiny bit- as Viktor took the last strawberry..... until..-

"And thank you for not biting me over it," he added with a wink

Welp, there went Yuri's good mood

~+~

"Vitya, can you help me fold this sheet?"

Viktor glanced up from his phone, smiling sweetly at his husband

"Ofcourse _moya lyubov'_ ," he agreed, setting the phone aside and crossing over to Yuri's opposite side, staring at him expectingly

"Ok grab that end- no.. no, the _other_ en- no Vitya, put _that_ end down and grab the _other_ \- have you _never_ folded sheets before?"

The way Viktor stared at him, Yuri was willing to say he hadn't, but...

"Ofcourse I have," Viktor pouted

"I'm just.... not very good at it...."

Yuri wasn't even remotely surprised

Sighing quietly, Yuri set down his own end of the sheets and moved closer, gently helping his husband grasp the _correct_ ends of the sheet before moving back to grab his own

"Now walk towards me,"

Atleast that part went well

"Now fold your left end- no your _left_ , that's your right- fold your _left_ end towards me, thank you,"

Luckily the rest of the sheet folding went without incident, the _problem_ came in five minutes later

Yuri had stepped away breifly to answer the door upon hearing the bell ring, knowing that they were expecting a package, and left Viktor, Makkachin, and most importantly, the sheet, unattended

It started off innocently enough, Viktor had gone to put the pillowcases away when Makkachin jumped up onto the bed... and laid directly on the freshly folded sheet

"Hm? Makka you can't lay on that," he pouted, crossing over to her and gently trying to pull the sheet out from under her

Makkachin wasn't having it though, she grabbed part of the sheet with her teeth, play-growling and rolling over inside them

"Makka _no_ ," Viktor laughed, wich really wasn't helping, as he tugged again

It _really_ wasn't helping though when Makkachin decided that Viktor was most definitely playing a game, and that she should play back by tugging even harder on the sheet

Viktor wasn't laughing at this point

"M-Makka... let go..."

Another tug

The dog tugged back

"S-Seriously Makka, you're going to hurt the sheets,"

Another tug

The dog tugged back

"Yuri's going to get mad if he sees us doing this,"

Another tug

The dog tugged back

"Makka..."

Tug

"Maakkaaaaaaa..."

Tug

"Makka!!"

_Teeeeaaaaaar_

" _MY SHEETS!!!!_ "

Viktor, caught red-handed, slowly turned around and locked eyes with Yuri's bewildered expression as he held a torn half of the sheet

.....

"...Y-You're not going to bite me over this, are you zolotse?"

Yuri Katsuki was not an easily angered person, but Viktor could always tell when he was a little miffed

This time went a touch beyond "a little"

~+~

"I'm so hungry.... I think I might die...."

Was he exaggerating? Yes

Did he care? No

"You won't die zolotse, you have my word, I won't let you," Viktor chuckled

Yuri only groaned, flopping miserably onto the couch

They were only allowed one cheat night per month during the on season- once a week during the off season- with exceptions for holidays and birthdays, and katsudon for competition wins

The second Saturday of the month was their official on-season cheat night and for this month they had both decided on pizza- pizza with all the toppings (except olives, a mutual decision) and even brownie bites

Yuri had been waiting for this all day- hell, all _week_ \- and he was starting to get anxious about it

"I'm serious, I purposely didn't eat much earlier because I wanted to make sure I could indulge in the pizza but now I'm regretting it..."

"Awwww my darling..." Viktor pouted, wrapping his arms around Yuri and peppering a few kisses across his face

"You aren't going to get so hungry that you try to bite me, are you?" he teased

Eye twitching, Yuri was finally in such a mood and over that tease just enough that he snapped

"You know something Nikiforov? I'm starting to think that you _want_ me to bite you," Yuri accused, eyes narrowing as he sat up partly, gently nudging their heads together

"H-Huh?"

"Is that what all of this is about? Maybe you're jealous of Phichit, because I bit him and not you," he proposed, restraining the urge to smirk at the bright red flush that powdered Viktor's face

"W-Why would I be jealous? You bite me all the time..."

"Maybe I'm not biting hard enough, is that it?"

"..And if it was?"

"Then... maybe I should bite harder,"

"Maybe you should..."

"Maybe I will,"

Viktor's face was full cherry-colored now, and Yuri suddenly felt hungry for much more than just food

~+~

"What in the hell is this!? Vitya!!!! You have an interveiw in less than an hour and you show up looking like this!?"

"I'm going to have to get some more concealer from the store, I ran out trying to do the other side of my neck..."

"Th-The other side!? You mean BOTH sides of your neck are like this!?"

That morning upon getting up Viktor found both sides of his neck _covered_ in purpling and blue bruises and bitemarks, a result of the previous night's adventure waiting on the pizza

Yakov was furious, Viktor was thrilled, Yuri was embarrassed

"You two are going to put me in an early grave!! Do you know that?! Are you trying to kill me!? The reporter wants to do a peice on my many successes as a coach and my prized student is going to show up looking like he was just mauled by a dog!! How is that supposed to look!?"

"Well ideally I'd have liked to stop by the store _before_ coming here but you were so angry about me being late yesterday I figured this was better, and honestly Yakov these lovely marks look nothing like dog bites, those woul-"

"VITYA!!!!"

Yuri, who was once again wishing there was a big rock nearby for him to crawl under and die, was trying to hide in the corner of the rink wile Viktor "handled" his coach's rage

The problem with this was that the other skaters on Team Russia had all joined him

"You're so fucking gross Katsudon," Yura snarled, not even looking up from his phone

"I'm no stranger to love bites myself but those are ridiculous, how many times must you have bitten him to cover his neck like that?" Georgi mused

"You know Yuri, this isn't the first time Viktor has come in with bitemarks but it's not usually anywhere near this bad, did something happen yesterday to make your possessiveness spark up even more than usual? Were you jealous of someone maybe?"

"More like Viktor was jealous of someone..."

Yuri knew when he said it that he shouldn't have, but it was too late by the time the words were out of his mouth

"OOooohhhh really!?!?? What was the occasion!?"

"S-Something stupid... Phichit told him this dumb story when we were at the NHK about when we were in college and I bit him over an eggroll, it's all really stupid..."

By this point there wasn't even any sense in trying to hide it, the story was likely to circulate back to the others at some point anyhow, might as well just say it himself

"Well atleast you had the excuse of doing it over something reasonable like food, unlike Vitya who bit me over makeup,"

Startling, Yuri hadn't realized that Yakov and Viktor had moved closer to them at this point, and jerked his head up, face scalding red as he stared at his coach's coach.... until...

"...He _what now_?"

"Did he not ever tell you?"

"W-Wait a second Yakov, is this story really neces-?!"

"When Vitya was fourteen he tried to do a winged eyeliner before a competition, it looked god awfull so I tried to wipe it off, but he was such a strange mixture of nervous, tired, and proud, that when I lifted my hand up to wipe it off he bit me,"

Yuri's mouth opened

Viktor's head hung

Yura, behind them, burst into such a loud and obnoxious bout of laughter that he almost started to cry

"That was the time I gave up on any of you children looking decent on the ice! You want to know why I never try to adjust your costumes or make up anymore!? It's because I nearly lost a finger the last time!"

By now Mila and Georgi were laughing too, Yuri suddenly had a much better understanding of why Georgi looked the way he did in competitions, and Viktor's face was officially tomato red

When they all dispersed and started getting back into the groove of practice, everyone there waiting for the reporter who had wanted to do an at-rink interveiw with them, Yuri slowly skated closer to Viktor, eyebrows raised and lips curved upwards

"Z-Zolotse.... you aren't going to tell anyone else that story are you?"

"What, abut you being a biter?" Yuri asked dryly, smirking as moved closer

"Only if you promise that from now on, the only person you bite is me,"

With a light- and fleetingly confident- smack on the ass, Yuri hurriedly skated off, leaving a stunned and still red Viktor in his wake before the gold-medalist began calling desperately after his husband and skating towards him

Yakov, in the mean time, began dialing Lilia, wondering if she could bring some concealer to the rink in the hopes of saving what little was left of his reputation


End file.
